Romans 12:14-21
In the chapter up to this point, we have laid the foundation. First, we have the admonition to give ourselves over to God in order to live a life that is changed and distinct from the life of the world around us. After that, Paul expands on that to show that this changed life is one of sincere love. That brings us to the central idea of this passage.
We are to live a life of love, but (as I mentioned before), there are going to be situations and people who make it difficult for love to be operative. This is a violent image for love, but we can picture love like a cannon, firing loving shots out into the world—but there will be barricades that may block those shots and even, if we are not careful, repel them back to destroy us.
In all this, there are two main things to keep in mind. One is verse 18. This is how the NET Bible translates it: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people.” Love always seeks for peace. A loving heart does not enjoy strife and conflict. There is a kind of man who enjoys stirring up trouble, who thrives on the hatred and resentment of others. That is not a Christian attitude. There is a kind of man who says and does whatever he wants with zero regard for its effect or reaction. That is not a Christian attitude. Love requires a desire for peace—our goal and ideal must be that every interaction with others ends on good terms.
There are barriers that would block our love, but that should never make us give up; we should never try to switch to less-loving artillery or answer with a shield of our own. We should always try to conquer with love.
Of course, it won't always work. Peace is the ideal. The reality will sometimes—probably most times—not be that. Peace is not always possible. Even God cannot make peace with everyone. People will not always understand our love and even if they do, they may still reject it. But that part is out of our control. We cannot change how people respond to our love; we can only control our love and our actions.
That is one main principle to remember in all this. The other main principle is verse 21: “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” While there are some obstacles and difficulties we face from other people that are innocent and are merely the result of living in a fallen world, there will also be many times when they result from evil.
Back in verse 9, Paul stated what our stand on evil should be—that we should abhor it. Here we have the other side, which is evil's stand on us—that evil will often attempt to overcome us, to conquer us. Taking a stand for good and against evil comes with a price. Verse 9 describes us choosing between two options. Here we are in the midst of a battle. But the exhortation is the same—as we are to abhor evil, so we refuse to be conquered by it.
Especially, when we are facing opposition and persecution, we are not to be overcome by evil. The obvious way that could happen would be by giving in—it would be recanting our faith to find safety; it would be giving up the truth in order to make peace. But there is another more subtle way in which evil can conquer us—it can conquer us by making us like it. If, when faced with evil, we become evil to meet it, then any victory is meaningless. We cannot meet the devil with his own weapons; we cannot fight hellfire with hellfire. Instead, the only counter to evil is good. Darkness cannot dispel darkness—only light can do that.
Therefore, whenever we face these situations—situations where we face problems or obstacles in the course of love—we must remember this point; we must not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.
But what exactly does that mean? What sort of goodness is that can overcome evil, that can break through the barricades? What kind of virtue is which can be to us a sword and shield in this holy war?
It is humility. In verse 16, Paul says: “Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate.” Or, as Phillips paraphrases it, “Don't become snobbish, but take a real interest in ordinary people.” If we want our love to reach people, we must live humbly—if we approach men with the attitude that we are better than them, 9 times out of 10, they will have no interest in listening to us. If men hear that we claim to love everyone but see that, in practice, we only pay attention to rich and important people, then they will probably doubt our love.
I have been comparing love to a weapon throughout this lesson—here, I would compare it to a sword and say that humility is the whetstone that sharpens the blade to its finest point. The people of the world will, most of the time, listen to us best when we live with humility. Pride and self-aggrandizement can win a following sometimes—look at social media—but humility is generally the surer way and always the better way.
And when dealing with other people—whether friends, family, strangers, or enemies—the one thing that often becomes the igniter of conflict is pride. It is when we are certain that we are right or afraid to appear weak or unsure—that is when we become the prime fodder for a disagreement. This is what Solomon said about dispelling conflict: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) But if we are to give that soft, that gentle answer, we must have an attitude of humility, an attitude that isn't determined to have the last word. We must not be wise in our own conceits, thinking that we are better than everyone else and determined to force our will and our way on everyone else. Of course, there are times when we must stand for what we believe, but even in doing that, we must do it with humility.
Another way we can meet obstacles, another kind of that goodness which overcomes evil is sympathy.
In verse 16, Paul says: “Be of the same mind one toward another.” There are various ways to interpret this verse, but Barnes quotes this translation: “And what you think concerning yourselves, the same also think concerning your brethren.” In other words, when thinking of other people, we shouldn't think of them as some different species or as on some different plane. We should think towards as we think towards ourselves.
This principle is stated in a verse from the Old Testament which sounds very similar to this passage: “Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:18) This is the general principle of love—that we ought to love other people as we love ourselves, that we should have the same concern for their good as we have for our own.
We have this general principle applied to action in Luke 6:31: “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” But here in Romans, we have this principle applied to attitude. “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep” (verse 15) means being willing to enter into the feelings of others; it means being willing to be happy for another's good fortune even if it does not benefit us; it means being willing to be sorry for another's loss even if it does not hurt us. It means not allowing jealousy or disdain or indifference to prevent us from sharing in another's life. In short, it means sympathy.
Humility means realizing that we are not the entire world but only one continent, among many others. Sympathy means traveling around to other nations and learning their ways so that we can help them.
Sympathy is a skill as well as a virtue. The degree to which we can sympathize with another person's feelings differs from situation to situation. But the better we can sympathize, the better we can share love with them.
Then we have integrity. Verse 17 ends, “Provide things honest in the sight of all men.” The word 'honest' literally means 'beautiful' but has the general idea of that which is good. TCNT translates it “honorable;” WNT: “What is right and seemly;” RSV: “noble.” All of this, we notice, is to be done in the sight of men. The idea seems to be what we refer to as the Christian's 'witness.' In other words, our life as it appears to the people around us must be something honorable, something that bears inspection. Harold Brokke comments: “No matter what people think about us, we will do God's will. Yet we will not disregard what people think about us.” (Saved By His Life, 191)
Providing for things honest in the sight of men means making careful preparations to live in such a way so that our life will appear blameless to men. Obviously, that doesn't always work. Often, doing the right thing before God will appear to be doing the wrong thing before men, certainly before some men. But still, in so far as we can, we should try to protect our witness; we should live with integrity of character.
And this will make it easier for our love to reach men. Light can shine brightest when their no obstructions. There are many people in this world who have zero interest in Christianity or in Christ because of what they have seen in the lives of professing Christians. That may be a poor attitude on their part, but for our part, all we can do is live in such a way that no one will have further ground of turning away. In 2 Corinthians 6:3, Paul says this about his ministry: “Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed.” In modern English, that word offense has been watered down significantly; today, to 'offend' someone can mean accidentally making someone moderately uncomfortable. But in Greek, the word is much stronger—when Paul says he tried not to give offense, he means that he tried not to cause anyone to stumble, not to put a barrier in someone's way, not to trip someone up. That should be the desire of every Christian, whether in active ministry or not—the desire to live so as not to give offense in anything, and doing so means living with integrity.
And even in the matter of active persecution, a life of integrity may be useful as a defense. Do you remember when the jealous officials tried to get Daniel in trouble with the king? They looked over Daniel's life and could find nothing to criticize or attack and had to pass a brand new law in order to get him in trouble. It would have been far easier for them if Daniel had already been lax or careless in parts of his life. A life of integrity will not protect you from all attacks, obviously, but it does offer some protection; it is a useful weapon both offensively and defensively.
The next tool we have is patience. Before we have been talking in more general terms. Now we come to the central part of this passage. There are going to be many difficulties and challenges that come with dealing with other people. But here Paul looks specifically at what happens when there are people who are actively opposing us and what we do—that is, persecution. When there are those—whether on their own agency or as part of a larger program—who deliberately cause the Christian pain, embarrassment, hindrance, or death because of their faith. This was something Paul knew all about, having been on both sides of it during his life.
The church at Rome was at least partly Jewish. Jews as a whole were not very popular in Rome in the first century, and Jewish Christians were not very popular among Judaism. Most of these Jewish Christians probably faced ostracization and opposition from their families. And it would not be very many years later before Nero would begin his crusade against Christians, and probably many of those who first read this letter would be imprisoned, tortured, and killed because of their faith. And even though that full persecution hadn't begun yet, they had probably all experienced some persecution and had full knowledge of the possibility of what was to come.
And so, keeping that context in mind, how ought they behave towards those (whether in the government or not) who were persecuting them, who were hurting them, mocking them, even threatening to kill them?
We have part of the answer in the beginning of verse 17: “Recompense to no man evil for evil.” Or “Giving back to no man” as Robertson puts it. They were not to treat their enemies in the same way that their enemies were treating them. This is put in more concrete terms in verse 19: “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves.”
Shakespeare wrote of the desire for revenge as being a natural, universal human impulse. He wrote: “If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not seek revenge?” To tell innocent men who are being cruelly wronged that they should not seek to get back at their oppressors certainly seems counterintuitive. I think Paul realized how hard a thing he was asking of them; hence why he begins with the affectionate address: “Dearly beloved.”
But hard or not, this is clearly what he was exhorting them to do—to face wrong without seeking revenge. With good, it is more blessed to give than to receive. With evil, we must be content to receive. Whether we are dealing specifically with those who persecute the Christian for his faith, or the general wrongs that come to all men, the response should be the same—the response of endurance without retaliation. (The question of seeking revenge for wrong is a separate question from seeking to defend oneself from wrong.)
But it is more than a mere refusal to seek revenge. The oppressed are often in no position to get revenge even if they want it. But Paul goes further. In dealing with those who persecute us, he says at the end of verse 14: “Curse not.” Now, I don't think Paul's main concern here is about language. I don't think the main takeaway here is about not using certain words.
A curse is a desire to cause harm to someone; it is an expression of frustrated hostility. For Paul to tell his readers not to curse their enemies means that they were not to give into bitterness, into an attitude that would delight in the pain of his enemies. Poor men can be as corrupted by greed as rich men, though their greed accomplishes nothing. Weak men can be as full of bitterness and revenge as strong ones, though they are unable to act upon their feelings.
So, this is the attitude that Paul exhorts his readers to embrace when facing those who would persecute them—an attitude that endures evil without seeking revenge or giving way to bitterness; it is a conscious renunciation of the vengeful spirit and actions. You could call this attitude many things. You could call it 'meekness', the spirit which bears offense without becoming angry. You could call it 'endurance' or 'fortitude' or 'self-control' or even 'courage.' (To refuse to act may often require as much bravery as acting.)
But I chose the word patience for a special reason. Patience has this idea of bearing with difficult things without giving up or giving in; holding on to what we believe despite circumstances; be willing to accept unpleasantness without a bad attitude. But patience in modern English has a very specific connotation—patience in modern English almost always means: 'having a good attitude while waiting for something to happen.'
And that is something we have to understand about Paul's admonition. Paul did not deny that those who would persecute and oppress the Christians were in the wrong. He wasn't denying or minimizing the evil of those to whom we were not to recompense evil. Paul was fully and personally aware of the evil of the persecutor and the fact that they deserved punishment—the fact that he himself had not found that punishment was a source of never-ending wonder to him.
The desire for revenge is founded on a truth—it is founded on justice. The idea that those who do wrong should suffer for it is fundamentally right. This is the foundation of most morality and politics. But it is also the foundation of the book of Romans. Romans 1:18 launches Paul's argument in the beginning of the book: “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness.”
In the Old Testament, God spoke of how He would bring judgment on those who sinned against him. “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” (Deuteronomy 32:35)
God's wrath, God's vengeance (if you want to call it that) is threatened against all the evil in this world. God is the unseen witness to every crime and the unstoppable avenger of every wrong. And that reality is the foundation of Romans as it is the foundation of the gospel—it is only because of the reality of God's wrath that we need a plan of salvation at all. God, as the sovereign judge, passes sentence against all evil-doers, though as the merciful Father, He has also provided a means of pardon.
But do you understand why this matters here? When Paul tells his readers to refuse to avenge themselves, he does not say it is because right and wrong don't matter or because life isn't fair. What does he say? “Rather give place to wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
The concept of revenge; the concept of the wrong-doer suffering for his wrong—that concept is right. It is the thing that ought to be done, but we are not the ones who ought to do it. In a previous lesson, I mentioned the famous quote: “With great power comes great responsibility.” But in this matter, we have neither the power nor the responsibility. This is a matter for God.
And the fact that God says so should be enough, but I think we can point to at least part of the reason why. In Genesis 4:23-24 we have the words of Lamech: “And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt. If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.” There is considerable debate about the meaning of these verses, but it seems to be that Lamech had killed a man in self-defense and was now threatening vengeance on anyone that would attempt vengeance on him.
There is a sort of tragic comedy in the picture. Someone tried to hurt Lamech; Lamech hurt him instead; so other people were going to try to hurt Lamech because of that; and Lamech was threatening hurt to them because of that. This sort of vicious cycle is one of the basic flaws of personal revenge. It is a circle that goes on forever without accomplishing anything like a snake eating its own tail.
However, the specific reason I wanted to read those verses was because of the weird arrogance we see in Lamech's words. It could be that Lamech truly was in the right; he really had acted in self-defense and if anyone had attacked him in consequence it would have been unfair. Perhaps, under those circumstances, vengeance would have been logical. But what on earth made Lamech think it would be worthy of seventy and sevenfold vengeance? If anyone dared to hurt Lamech, that seemed to call for rivers of blood and bodies piled up to the sky. And I submit to you that this is not based on any real sense of justice. At that point, it is merely pride and self-interest. Human nature—sinful at worst and frail at best—is not a suitable conduit for something as dangerous as vengeance. We are far too liable to corrupt and pervert even more benign things.
James 1:19-20 says: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” Notice that James says we should be slow to wrath; not necessarily to avoid it altogether. There are times when anger is necessary—there are times when God calls individuals to be instruments of His justice, as we will see in Romans 13. But there is a grave danger in all these things because human anger (in and of itself) can never achieve true righteousness; we cannot, at our best, set things right as well as God can.
And along with that, speaking of God's wrath, we have to remember that, as we've seen throughout Romans up to this point, God's wrath is paralleled by His mercy. If the persecuted Christian church had wanted revenge against Saul of Tarsus, they might have been able to get it. What they could never have gotten on their own was the Apostle Paul.
J. R. R. Tolkien wrote: “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”
That is why Paul says “give place to wrath” which can be paraphrased as: “Get out of the way so that God can do His own work." And that brings us back to this word patience. Refusing to avenge ourselves does not mean giving up on hope and blindly accepting whatever happens--it means waiting for God—realizing that God will set things right in His way and His time. “Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee.” (Proverbs 20:22)
But even at that, I think we do have to be careful. We really have to leave things to God and not try to use God as a means of our own vengeance. Lamech said he would be avenged seventy and sevenfold. It's not clear who he thought was going to work this vengeance, but it almost sounds as if he expected God to do it.
We mentioned before Paul's injunction not to curse our enemies. A curse is a desire for harm. But in its most serious form, a curse is an appeal to a higher power to visit the object of the curse with misfortune. So, for instance, when Balak hired Balaam to curse the Israelites, he did not merely want him to stand on the mountain and utter some colorful language or express a general contempt; he wanted him to call upon God to destroy the Israelites.
“Curse not” means that we have to be very careful about shoveling all our anger and resentment off unto God as a proxy. If we are still holding unto those feelings, then it is going to be very difficult to find the final good which will overcome evil.
Because you'll notice that Paul doesn't merely say “Curse not.” He doesn't merely ask the Christians to keep their mouth shut and refrain from angry muttering. The full verse is: “Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.”
It is one thing to refrain from angry words and vengeful actions; it is something else to replace those with actions of genuine love and kindness. Any man with some self-control can refrain from cursing his enemies—it takes some special to really and truly bless your enemies.
But Paul goes even further than that.
You will notice that there are definite parallels between this passage and the previous one. I'm not sure if that proves anything beyond how easy it is to find parallels in things. But there is a definite sense of progress here. The final verse of the previous passage was “Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.” I said that was simple and obvious enough to not need much comment. That sort of generosity may be inconvenient or costly, but it is a simple and easy thing in concept.
But now we move to something far more difficult in Paul's words, which are a quotation from Proverbs 25:21-22: “If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.”
We have here an injunction to help actually and practically those who have, actually and practically, hurt us. I am calling this charity, but I'm not sure there is a word in English for this—for helping your enemy. This is the ultimate form of good overcoming evil.
Why would we do such a thing? “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:44-45) We do good to our enemies because that is how God acts. Jesus uses the example of God's blessings in nature—God sends the rain and the sunshine to everyone, even to those who hate and attack God. And that should be enough, but we have a higher example within Romans. “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) The whole wonder of the gospel is that God showed and acted His love towards His enemies—that God, when He could have easily and rightfully exacted vengeance, chose instead to offer mercy.
The Bible says that when we do good to our enemies we heap coals of fire on their heads. This seems to mean that our actions, in doing good to our enemies, may cause them to be ashamed of their actions and feel guilt.
Again, I think of Paul. The very first time we meet Saul in scripture is at the martyrdom of Stephen. And these were the dying words of Stephen: “And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.” (Acts 7:60) The last words of Stephen were not words of anger or wrath—remarkable enough under the circumstances—but were actually words of mercy. He truly lived out the injunction: “Bless, and curse not.”
That is how Stephen lived and died, and like Abel, he being dead yet speaketh. Many people have conjectured that this event had an effect on Paul and would work in his heart, leading him to that moment on the road to Damascus. Truly, in this case, the Christian was not overcome by evil but overcame evil with good.
That brings us to the end of this strange and unconventional series of injunctions. We are reminded once again of the opening of Romans 12—this is the life of one who is not conformed to the world but who has been transformed. No one can live out these injunctions without the Spirit of God; very few would even want to. We have here something unusual but vibrant, alien but alive with an otherworldly life. This is what Brokke called “[A] dynamic adventure in doing good...” (Saved By His Life, 192) But in this strange adventure, we are following the footsteps of our master, because this is what God did and in so doing we are living out the righteousness of God which is revealed from faith to faith.
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