Romans 12:9-13
There are two sides to this idea which are interconnected. On one hand, it means that love must come from the heart. If you are embracing love simply because you think other people will look up to you for it or because it's expected or because it's the rule of the church, then that love is insufficient. Most humans do not want you to fain romantic love or even friendship for them out of an ulterior motive, and it is worse with the serious, universal, Christian love which Paul is advocating here.
However, that creates a problem. Paul says: “Let love be without dissimulation.” In other words, Paul exhorts them to have this kind of sincere love. And yet, if we have it simply because Paul tells us to, is it really sincere? There are probably several answers to this, but I want to point back to Romans 5:5: “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”
Do you notice what he says? God's love is shed abroad or poured out in our hearts. And you can debate Paul's meaning, but I think it's fair to say that this means that our love is ultimately God's love, and we can only have love by the presence of God via the Holy Spirit. “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” (1 John 4:16)
This doesn't mean that we have no part to play, but it does mean that there is a connection between our love and God's. Human beings in general can have love at all because they are made by God. And we can only have the kind of love which Paul is describing—this love which is universal and even, if you will, extreme and radical—is by a direct spiritual connection to God.
That is one side of this idea of sincere love—it is love which comes from a heart that is united with God; it is love for love's sake which is just an abstract way of saying love for God's sake. It means our love must be a reality and not a pretense.
And that brings us to the other side—our love must be a reality, not a pretense and therefore it must have practical consequences. Barnes, commenting on this verse, points us to 1 John 3:18 “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.”
In the play Oklahoma, someone makes this statement regarding another character: “He loved everything and everybody, but he never let on, so nobody ever knew.” The statement is intentionally ironic because we realize, in most cases, if a person truly has love (of any kind) for someone else, they will express it in some way. That expression may be awkward or misunderstood, but it will still exist. If someone tells you they love someone, and yet there is zero practical outworking of that love, I think a certain skepticism is warranted. But here we should not be looking at and judging others. The point is that if our love is without dissimulation, it must have practical consequences. We must seek to have a real-life love. A love that never goes beyond the individual is as futile and fruitless as a romantic love that does not end in marriage.
Peter Kreeft points out that in this world, love is a popular idea; there is nothing shocking or controversial or groundbreaking about saying you support love. If you go out and interview people, asking them if they think love is a good thing and hate a bad thing, I'm willing to wager a majority—probably a vast majority—would say they believe that.
And here is the consequence of that: for the church to stand up and say that they believe in love; for us to list love as a Christian virtue; for us to sing songs and preach sermons about the value of love; for us to speak and testify about love—all that is not going to make all that much of an impression on the world. Because it's not all that different from what most people in the world would say. The Christian ideal of love is different from the world's in most cases, but most people probably won't pay close enough attention to realize that. If they think we are playing the same song as everyone else, why would they bother coming specifically to us to hear it played?
The only way the world will ever be especially interested in the Christian doctrine of love is if that love is without dissimulation; if it is sincere, whole-hearted, and practical. And the only way that can be is if our love ultimately comes from God. That is how all of this points back to Romans 12:1-2. We must present ourselves to God so that we may be transformed by the renewing of our mind; this is the only way to live up to this standard.
But, as I said, love is a word that pretty much everybody likes to throw around. And as with all words which are commonly used, there's always a good chance that it will lose its meaning. So how do we ensure we have a real concept of love?
Suppose you were trying to tell someone what an apple is if they had never seen one? The dictionary definition of an apple probably wouldn't help you much, even assuming you happen to know what it is. Most likely, you would explain an apple by using words that describe it, by using adjectives—such as 'round', 'red,' 'juicy,' 'sweet,' and so on.
And as we look at this passage, I think we can draw out a number of adjectives that describe the love which Paul is here invoking.
Look at the rest of verse 9: “Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” This is a simple and straightforward command, and it can be found in other forms throughout the Scripture. To say we should treat good as good and evil as evil is a truism; something so obvious you would think it wouldn't need to be said if it weren't for the fact of how often people don't actually do it.
But it is something more than a truism: “For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth. He loveth righteousness and judgment: the earth is full of the goodness of the LORD.” (Psalm 33:4-5) “The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth. Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.” (Psalm 11:5-7) Good and evil are not human constructs or simple accidents of nature; they are founded on the nature and will of God. Therefore they are woven into the very fabric of reality.
All of this is to say that Christian love is GROUNDED; it has a foundation. To choose the good and reject the evil is not a triviality or a truism—doing so grounds us on the very foundation of the world. And if our love is built on such a foundation, it will not be merely a feeling or a fad—what it means to love will not change from day to day. Love is soft, and yet it has something firm within it. You cannot give a hug without bones and muscles.
On this verse, Blaiklock comments: “To 'hate that which is evil' without 'holding fast to that which is good' produces a self-righteous, censorious attitude. The reverse process produces the sentimentalist, soft, emotional, indulgent. Christian love avoids both extremes.” (78)
Secondly, this love is GENIAL. Paul says: “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love.” The words “kindly affectioned” and “brotherly love” both come from the same root word, a word for love—specifically the love of family or friends. The pairing of these words here could give a translation almost like: “Cherish one another as a family with the love of brothers.”
It's not clear whether Paul specifically means the church here or has a broader range. The image of a family for the church is very common in the Bible; but there is also language that reminds us that the entire human race is, after all, one family. But whether Paul is thinking here specifically of other Christians or simply human beings in general, I think there is a reason why he uses this kind of language.
As I said in the previous point, this love Paul is describing is not merely a feeling; the love God calls for from us must be more than just an emotion. Christian love is based on reality; it is an act of faith and the will; it is a determination, a loyalty to love. However, there is a danger that with such an emphasis, love will become something cold and distant—something more akin to duty than affection.
That is why Paul exhorts his readers to treat one another as family, with the affection and warmth that (usually) exists within families—treating people, not as responsibilities for which we must care, but as brothers.
Love is not an emotion; geniality or affection (to some extent, at least) is. For that reason, it may be that even for the Christian, it will not always be possible to exhibit it in every circumstance. But it definitely should be what we strive to have; our aim and goal should always be to have genuine warmth and affection for those we come into contact with.
Now, we move on to the next point. Picture this: it is the time of the celebration of the Passover. The twelve disciples—the closest followers of Jesus—are gathered around Him at this sacred celebration. The joy of that time was overshadowed by the clear reality of danger from the Jewish authorities—the disciples knew that for Jesus to be here, now put them all at risk and that, besides all that, Jesus had been making cryptic warnings. So, in the midst of such a sacred, solemn, august occasion, what do you think was on their minds? “And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.” (Luke 22:24)
That was what they were worried about, what they were thinking about—they were desperately competing to be thought well of, to have the respect and honor they thought they deserved. We don't know that they were being unfair or unpleasant about it—there is no record that they lied to lay claim to accomplishment they didn't deserve or that they resorted to name-calling or assault to settle the question. So far as we know, they weren't competing in a wrong way, but they were definitely competing.
And if even the disciples were guilty of this sort of competition on that night of all nights, we shouldn't be surprised that so much of the world and the church are also involved in it.
But sincere love acts somewhat differently. Love is RESPECTFUL. This is the end of verse 10: “in honour preferring one another.” The word preferring has the idea of going first or leading the way. The idea is almost this—instead of competing to see who can receive the most honor and acclaim, we should be competing to see who can give the most honor to others. The NET Bible translates it: “Showing eagerness in honoring one another.”
There is nothing wrong with compliments and respect and admiration, but we ought to be more concerned about giving them. With such things, as with material things, it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.
In verse 12, Paul describes another aspect of the Christian life: “Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord.” The word business here is literally speed and has the idea of diligence or earnestness—as a man running in pursuit of something. In whatever it is we have to do, whatever duty or concern we have, we should be diligent in it and not slothful. And even though these things be common or ordinary, we should perform them with a fervent spirit as one who is serving the Lord. “Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men.” (Ephesians 6:5-7) That is how we should live—working, even in the things of earth, as the servants of God.
In the modern world, especially in texting, it is common to abbreviate a word by writing it without vowels. This was sometimes done in the New Testament. And if you thus abbreviate the word LORD, it is the same as the word TIME—so there are some who take this phrase: “serving the Lord” to be “serving the time”--that is, making the most of the moment, seizing every opportunity, redeeming the time because the days are evil.
In either case, the point is the same—that sincere love is INDUSTRIOUS. We may associate love with soft and tender things, but someone truly in love is willing to work hard for the sake of love.
Next, we have verse 12, which contains three separate admonitions which all seem to point to the same idea: “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.” If you wanted, you could pull three adjectives from this verse—saying that love is joyful, patient, and prayerful, and that would be true. But I think we can summarize the general idea with one word, that sincere love is COURAGEOUS.
What do I mean by that? I mean that love must be brave and tough enough to stand its ground, no matter what. It must be able to remain constant in the middle of difficult times without giving way. It must be able to keep on the path without giving up, even when it seems that things aren't working, when the answers aren't coming. And what is the source of such an attitude? Hope. It is our joy in the hope of future that allows us to face the problems and difficulties of the present.
Finally, we have verse 13: “Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.” This is straightforward enough; I don't think there is much to add. Sincere love must be GENEROUS.
This whole section is very brief and full of very brief admonitions, giving, as in a number of small snapshots, a collage-like view of the Christian life, and of the love which must be the driving force of that life.
Charles Spurgeon: “Paul writes at full length upon the doctrines, but he is very concise and pithy upon the precepts, for things of daily practice need to be short and easy of remembrance. Let us learn each one of these weighty sentences by heart and put them all in practice.” (Romans 12:10)
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